Ok What If?

What if I had never followed the path that I find my self on today? What if when I was a young, thin (even though I didnt think so then), beautiful lass ... Had I chosen to say, become a nun instead of following the"Bear" out to Colorado and start a new and exciting life? The "Bear" by the way is the name I will loving use to describe my EX. He is and always will be bear to me. Anyway, What If? Well first off... No way would I have ever been a nun not back then. I was a little shall we say percosious... wild... horn... enough... no more be said. Lets just say I wasnt Nun material. But, I did have other paths and I choose this one. The one that brought me 2 beautiful children who for the life of me have become my be all and end all. My bad I know... but a Mothers Love is the most powerful emotion I have ever experienced in this lifetime. I watch sappy love story movies and I cry and think I feel the love between the two love birds...but Im really not sure where the tears come from. Because in my real life that be all, end all, kind of love has eluded me. Oh don't get me wrong I loved Bear in a practical, get things done, do all the things your suppose too, live the best life you can kind of way. But, the stars and stripes and FireWorks kind of love... the kind that makes me cry when I see it on screen... Has never materalized in my own real world. REAL Love is a struggle everyday to stay connected. A Fight against the interference, the white noice if you will of all that surrounds us. So What If... on to Volume 2